Kiss Warriors of Delhi: Kiss of Love Campaign

It started in Kochi as a protest and managed to get some decent media coverage, but the Kiss of Love protest had to reach Delhi to qualify as a National Movement. Any protest or movement can’t be called a movement until it touches the heart of a nation or knocks on the door of our national capital Delhi and above all, earns takers in JNU Campus. Picture those Kutra clad folks chanting slogans in a chorus at the top of their voices as they are ready to make an instant change, just wow – anyone who wants to experience the ephemeral fervor of student power – JNU is the place to be. Well, I am not going to write about JNU here because nothing can be considered more serious or important, when you compare it with the topic of physical intimacy, the most interesting subject in the world. And, here I am going to talk about – Kissing.

Here at the start, I am asserting one thing straightway that I don’t agree with these Kiss Warriors of Delhi or those who are indulging in this Kiss of Love protest.  Actually, I don’t want them to do this publicly or kiss in public. Come on, this is out and out cruelty. Yes, this is nothing less than utter cruelty. Now you have to read the entire post to get my point. Obviously, I would include Bollywood in it.

Photo Courtesy: metrovaartha.com

First full-fledged or convincing kissing scene for the silver screen was performed by none other than Mr. Perfectionist Aamir Khan in Raja Hindustani - and the sincerity personified like never before. Before that we had seen many Bollywood rain sequences, which led to love-making, but love looked ethereal for the first time when Karishma Kapoor closed her eyes in submission. Rain, a beautiful girl and a tree – well, there was a lot to dream about for people of my generation at that time. Imagination plays the most important role in the lives of us – Indians, when it comes to Sex or intimacy and Bollywood fuels that imagination. In one way or another, it reaffirms our faith in miracles. A beautiful girl absolutely drenched in rain, a tree and then Magic – yes, this notion has all the attributes of a perfect miracle, but nothing like that ever happened to me and not even to my Stud Friends.

You just can’t give up on Magic of such proportion and we didn’t. We hoped that Magic would happen when we would go to college. God will be kind to us and lead us to heaven – just like what was shown in Karan Johar’s “Kuch Kuch hota hai” but that did not happen either. I studied in Delhi University and yes I saw a few glimpses of the so called movie modernism in college but nothing in reality happened to me or to my friends or our Bollywood inspired dreams never fulfilled.

So I would like to reiterate again that guys if you want to indulge in Public Display of Affection or PDA or kissing – you are not propagating obscenity but doing some serious harm to many. Think about those uncles and aunts, who never had that freedom – and like we all wish to bring back our old days or grow up once again, they would wish that again. You make them feel awful.  And, what about those boys who study in Delhi’s Government Schools in the afternoon shifts. Let me point out a fact here that most of the government schools in Delhi function in two shifts – morning shift for girls and evening shift for boys. You know their number, I mean how many boys are there in these schools and how many of them get admission in Delhi University or in a regular college?  Yes, a few really hardworking folks manage to get admission in DU, where they might get the opportunity to talk to girls or indulge in something like kissing in public but many of them don’t manage to make the cut. Actually, it is because Delhi University does not have many seats and that leads to the outrageous surge in cut off lists for admission. So, more than half of these guys or aspirants get admission in Delhi University’s correspondence courses and though, they attend a few regular classes during a yearly session – they just don’t get the real feel of a Campus Life. And, I must tell them that its OK folks because anything like Karan Johar or Yash Chopra’s version of campus life – happens to a chosen few only.  

Now think about this, more than 2 lakhs students study through correspondence because they do not get admission in any regular course of the prestigious Delhi University. Think about them. Many of them  also want to kiss someone. They also want to spread their arms like Shah Rukh Khan and tell the whole world that they are truly blessed, but they can only dream about it. It was OK earlier, when people used to kiss or indulge in intimacy in DDA Parks or secluded places or malls, but now they are kissing in Public. Imagine the plight of these guys who can’t do that – because of many reasons.

In India majority of the men get the opportunity to kiss or even touch a girl when they get married. Yes, in 80% cases, it is arranged marriage. Two strange people get married and finally get the approval of our society to have sex. So, if you would kiss in public, what would happen to those men who don’t have that license – they are also a part of Modern and progressive India. Mind it, you are trying to divide India. Yes there is an ever-widening gulf between poor and rich here and now you are creating another divide of Kissers and Onlookers. We already have thousands of divides in India – in the form of cast, creed and religion and now you are creating another one – which would hurt us the most. I must tell you that biological urges don’t discriminate between a SRCC Student and a 12th fail guy, who would appear in the next year’s exams through open school. So, what you are doing is unethical, absolutely unethical because you are so less in numbers. How can you kiss a girl in public as a bachelor when majority of the men can do that only after getting the approval of our society and they can only do that behind closed doors?

How can you not think about those men, who try to push others at Rajiv Chowk or any other crowded Metro Station just to get an opportunity to rub their shoulders or genitals or body parts against women or what about those who let their hands slip to touch the part of a woman’s body, whenever possible – in buses, malls or anywhere, you can imagine. These guys don’t get successful every time – still they try to do it every day with same vigor and zeal – what about them? How can you be so reckless and make them feel so low. They have to jostle with others for that quick touch and you are kissing in PUBLIC – now, this is inhuman. You think we have come a long way as a country to do kissing in pubic – guys, give me a break. No, you can’t torture India’s sex-starved men by kissing in Public.

Now, some words for those who say that by kissing in public, girls would invite rape or it is attack on our Indian Culture. First of all, if you think it would invite rape – and you are a woman who is saying that then I must tell you. You always wanted to have that sort of freedom, but you could not get that. Get over it and if you can’t then you can curse your fate like you must have done for other things in your life. If a man is saying that then I must tell you. Look, if you are not married then there are ways to release this tension, you must be aware about that. And, if you are married then look, you should be content with what you got because that’s what Indian Culture teaches us. And, yes – dude, please tell me what is India Culture? Yes, it is all about those rules and regulations – which are convenient to us. I mean, my Indian Culture can be different from you – if it suits me. That’s it. So, if you want to kiss or whatever. Get a room. Kissing in public is not against our Indian culture, but it is against our Indian Conditions.

British ruled us for more than 200 years and then left us with a colossal inferiority complex, which has been further bolstered by many factors over the years or the way this country has progressed since 1947. Now our nation is all about those who have and those have not. Those who can kiss or hug a girl in Public are minuscule in numbers than those who just can’t. So, Majority Rules! And, forget about the change, only time can change the things – and it would take a lot of time for that.

Yo Yo Funny Singh – First Part

Picture a typical Punjabi wedding scene. Too much glitter, Gucci, Prada – raging clamor for attention – and a lot of booze.  Take these words of wisdom, if you are going to attend such marriage – now or in near future. A few changes here and there, but ultimately the fervor and finish would be same. Same goes with Punjabi Music – No No – I am not overstepping here or going overboard or trying to offend someone – current music scene would appear like a half-churned ‘Lassi da Glass” without Punjabi Music – So spare me and if you can’t then forget it – it’s just a Blog dude.

In 80s and early 90s, there were only a handful of Punjabi singers, who were making the waves in Northern India like Gurdas Maan and a few more (I tried but couldn’t recall the names of others) and then Daler Mehndi brought his own brand of music – From tunak tunak tun to Haiyo Rabba – India got its own form of Shudh Peppy Music – you can always dance on such numbers. It was an early stage of Digital Music, which consequently led to a spontaneous blending of Punjabi Music+ Digital beats – yes they were and are made for each other. Anyone can shake a leg or break a leg on a popular Punjabi Peppy number – even if he doesn’t understand a single word. That’s it! But yes, it was never enough.

And then something happened -  something serious, something incredible – the bourgeoisie and rich class of Punjab, which represents the progress of Punjab with its super and bigger sense of style and substance (not talking about Substance Abuse here, which has become a cause of major concern in Punjab these days)  entered the Music arena like never before.

Amidst all this – Yo Yo Honey Singh was born. A singer who first broke into the music scene with his Daring **** Volume 2 song and gradually the entire nation accepted him – as someone who can talk his heart out and truly represents the problems faced by India’s lovelorn young boys. Some people call him misogynist but now some of his songs don’t propagate any message of hatred towards women, but simply label them as subjects – with words apparently referring to anatomical details of their bodies and how they behave or should behave these days. So, it is not about hatred anymore.

What really came on the forefront with this Yo Yo Music. While Lyrics can be called truly Punjabi, Music Videos or song sequences are bluntly ripped off from the West –with skimpily clad Girls (Goriyan in Punjabi) just heaving and jumping around the singers like puppets – with their jaded expressions and incoherent dance movements - Yes, Funny Singh counts for so much. Yo Yo and his brigade of Famous or hugely famous singers look like step brothers of Gangsta Rappers – so much is common between them – cribs, girls, cars and petty fights to brag about, but we have to accept the fact that Gangsta has more variety, more violence or if I have to sum-up in one word – they have a more Gross-Quotient in them. Not an assumption but a well scrutinized fact that very soon – Yo Yo Brigade will also delve deep into to augment their Gross-Quotient.

I noticed a pattern in Funny Singh’s songs. Earlier he was a Messiah of those who always wanted it but never had it – a sex starved group of people, who had to rely a lot on their imagination to vent out their frustration, but now they have Honey Singh or for them Horney Singh, who not only talks about this socially oppressed and ignored class, but also suggest ways for them to get what they want – instantly.

These days he is a national craze and a massive asset of this country. So, it is a laborious task to analyze too much in trends in his songs because Honey Singh is not much different from most of other Punjabi singers (or Wannabe Punjabi Singers), but yes he is more popular. Most of the time they talk about – girls, big cars, money, and above all – Jaat Power. But seriously, I tried to pick out a few interesting lines from his songs. Apparently, this guy wants to say too much – wants to do too much – and too much is never enough in Punjab.

Some songs – watch Videos to understand.

Party yun hi chalegi song – there is one quirky line in this song (Gaon main Tau kaware hain – means there are so many bachelors in the village) here he inadvertently talks about the problem of female foeticide in Punjab and Haryana, which has forced the youth to bring (buy) girls from other states of India. Those who can afford Can and those who Can’t – well, they can watch Honey Singh’s videos.

The way he sings this song especially Bomb lagdi mainu – Here he touches the emotions of a boy, who is knee deep in desperation, gradually moving upwards and he is squeaking  like someone who had Kayam Churan in the night but still feeling the agony of severe constipation.  Desperation couldn’t have been expressed in a better way. Feel aa gayi na – by God!

Char botal Vodka kaam mera roz ka – well there is one dreamy line in this song – kisi ki bandi ko bhi har lo (Which vaguely means…Hey, just go to the pub and pick up any girl you like) – this song sends a wrong message to all those who believe that they will find so many girls in Gurgaon pubs – at least one easy-going girl, who would behold you as if you are the famous Chawla version of Punjabi Butter Chicken and after 4 pegs of Vodka, this babe will pounce upon you like a tigress – and devour you. Yes, it happens – never mind to try it out, but first get drunk.
 
It would take at least a month to compile all those interesting lines from Honey Singh’s songs, which send across some strong messages. May be some other time – I do have some lyrics suggestions for this singer. May be in my next posts, I will try to look into the mercurial rise of Honey –Funny-Horny Singh and continue with some analysis of his lyrics. Only if I will have that much patience.

Expressions: Say it Unclear…

Imagine a day, when you wake up in the morning and realize that people around have become stoic and there is nothing but one expression lynching over their faces. Even in your weirdest dreams, you would deny this delusion. Because, what is the use of living in a sane world? If there is chaos, tragedy, rage or anything that is considered wild, goes missing just for a few seconds – our lives will be nothing more than loathsome journeys. And, something that adds that fervor to this irreplaceable dimension of life is expressions. They say, they command and they tear your very soul apart – sometimes a twist of nose can signal the arrival of a storm. Let’s have a look or recall all those expressions that have been lingering there in your subconscious mind – even though you try to ebb these intruders many times.

Let’s begin with a demagogue or our very own agony teachers. No matter how far you go in your lives, but that intense stare of your teacher will always follow you – whether you want or not.

Teachers and Expressions: 
A teacher yelling at his students while his eyebrows are trying to reach somewhere above his head. And, when they (teachers) willingly try to embarrass you – just a foul smile carrying loads of excruciating sarcasm casts its spell on you entire living being. And, you end up feeling again that you are the most wretched soul on this Earth.

A usual scene in the office:
You have done nothing wrong, but you are always supposed to incur that superficial or genuine wrath of your boss – depends how you take it. A howl with an open mouth, raged eyes and you are done. OK, it’s more than enough for you. Come on, you are not alone in this Rat Race.


A fight scene:
This is not about all those popular sitcoms where story flows, grows and exaggerates, as it’s premeditated or strictly adhering with that hastily prepared script. Here its two individuals with bulging eyes and fiery expressions and when you witness something like this – you cannot help to think that only one of them will survive. They stare, bark, and in extreme cases some punches and a few kicks culminate a perfect fight scene. Again, here comes that deep seated irony, after a few moments these eternal enemies are looking for excuses to escape each other. You end up feeling like a cheated spectator who went to watch an over-hyped Hollywood flick because you were the unlucky one who watched it’s jumbled up trailer. So, it ends here. As usual it ends up without yielding any conclusion.

And the last one is our favorite, catfight:
Two women or girls whatever you like. Standing against each other to prove that they can be very nasty at times – and you are the lucky one to witness this saga. They look like the perfect wives of Satan with fire in their arms and a complete list of explicit vocabulary in their mouth. Their fight is very well complimented by all those grunts, ooh, aahs and all that you hear in those X-rated movies. They come, entertain and dwindle up like they were never there – another sad end to a women’s tale.

Just a few expressions to remind you – you can recall more to laugh out loud. With this world looking more fragile with the each passing day – it would be thousand times better, if all our anger and animosity stay limited to expressions only.