The Joys of Delhi (Delhi ke Majje)

Contrasting views on some common village issues or matters of importance at times led to some animated verbal-fights between Pyar Chand and Jaisi Ram. Other boys in their group always enjoyed that but those fights never turned into physical bouts. Others in the group always coaxed and tried to manipulate Pyar Chand and Jaisi Ram to pave the path for some action but that never happened. They were not close-friends, but one factor that worked as a cohesive force between them was that they were used to each other’s company. Every day they had to walk together three kilometers to reach their school and three kilometers back home.  Though they tried to join other groups, ultimately the two were left to seek each other’s company, because in other groups they never had anything to say. They studied together till 8^th class and knew a lot of secrets about each other, which somehow bound them.

While Pyar Chand was more of a dreamer, Jaisi Ram had a practical outlook towards life. While many youngsters of their age were fascinated by the world and things around them as they were contemplating the changes in their lives according to their age, our protagonists never paid much attention towards anything. Things were not going to change till they were in school – that’s what they believed.

Pyar Chand was indifferent towards his image as a dull-headed boy in the eyes of teachers and other students and it did not affect him ever. Jaisi Ram was slightly better than Pyar Chand and that notion of superiority kept him content. Rarely did they talk about studies, but whenever they did, Jaisi Ram compared himself with Pyar Chand and the matter settled quickly. They were in eighth class and somehow things took a drastic turn. Everything started to look so colossal, as they were going to appear in the board exams. Initial fervor and discussion at home and school made Pyar Chand a bit alert towards exams, but gradually he lost interest.

Jaisi Ram cheated well in board exams and got the passing marks, while Pyar Chand could not do that. Things did not change for Pyar Chand for the next two years and finally he gave up and mustered enough courage to tell his father that he was not interested in studies anymore. Jaisi Ram passed his tenth exams and during one of his discussions with Pyar Chand, he said then that he wanted to become a professor. Pyar Chand looked in bewilderment and said, “but for that you need to study a lot, what you say. They say that these professors are half-mad.” Jaisi Ram, “oh, you know better than anyone else, they earn a lot of money and once I will become professor, I will buy a big car.” Pyar Chand shook his head in his typical approval-giving style.

Jaisi Ram’s dream of becoming a Professor could not take off as his elder brother thought otherwise and sent him to Delhi to work with his maternal uncle, who was a mechanic in an iron-casting company. His brother made it clear that Jaisi Ram could study further but meanwhile, he would have to work to support the family like he was doing. And, Jaisi Ram was sent to Delhi.

Pyar Chand’s drunkard father took his son to work as a daily laborer on road. It appeared a harsh decision for many but Pyar Chand’s father had a big vision in his mind. In those days if you worked for PWD for 10 years, there was every possibility that one day you would be confirmed as a regular government employee – a dream job that would ensure fixed salary and pension. Six months passed quickly and one fine day our protagonists met.

Pyar Chand was returning from his work. While Jaisi Ram waited for an hour at the same place to meet Pyar Chand, he acted as if he was going somewhere, when he actually met the daily-wage laborer.

Pyar Chand, “Good to see you Jaisi. You are looking good, so how is Delhi?”

Jaisi Ram, “Delhi is very good, so you are working as a laborer, how are you doing there. I am here for three days as there is a lot of work in Delhi.”

Pyar Chand did not say anything for a while, and then he said , “see you yaara.” Meet me tomorrow morning at the pond, where we used to take bath and tell me about Delhi City.”

Jaisi Ram had a lot to say, but Pyar Chand just left. More than Pyar Chand, Jaisi Ram was excited to tell his old pal about Delhi but now he had to wait till morning. When they met early morning at the pond, Jaisi Ram spoke a lot until he felt satisfied – as usual, Pyar Chand listened to him patiently.

 Pyar Chand carefully tried to weigh in every word that his friend had said and then he could comprehend that people enjoy a great life in Delhi. Big buildings, trains, lot of cars, - a city where Prime Minister and President of India live. For the first time in his life, Pyar Chand felt really bad about his condition. And then he wanted to go to Delhi.  

After three days, Jaisi Ram went back to Delhi. Usually engrossed in his routine work, Pyar Chand could not focus on anything for the next few days. While cleaning a ditch near the road during his work, Pyar Chand hurt his leg badly. He could not hold it for long and finally shared his thoughts with other colleagues, who were working as PWD daily wage workers. They listened in amusement as he vividly described everything to them and felt relieved.

The same thing happened again after six months when Jaisi Ram visited the village. Once again, he told some elaborate stories about Delhi and Pyar Chand felt more and more longing for the capital of India. Jaisi Ram did not shut up until he felt satisfied that he had said everything that he wanted to say at the village pond and then left in a hurry.  

This World had become a dreary place for Pyar Chand – every day he dreamt of going to Delhi to live a great life. If there was a heaven – it was in Delhi. Pyar Chand thought. Oh, I am not intelligent like Jaisi Ram, but I also deserve a good life. I just want to go to Delhi. And then something good happened for the PWD worker - Jaisi Ram came to village for a couple of days and besides telling compelling stories about the city, he also gave a phone number  to Pyar Chand with an important note that he could only call him on Sunday – every week.  

Well, Pyar Chand had something else in his mind, he waited and saved some money after three months and booked a ticket to Delhi. He knew his father would never agree to send him away to Delhi. So, he told his mother that he would find some decent work in Delhi and rest would be taken care of by his friend Jaisi Ram. Though, Pyar Chand waited for the next Sunday and made a call on that number which Jaisi Ram had given him. He dialed that number with huge anticipation and carefully queued up all the words in his mind he wanted to say over the phone.  He called up and a woman on the other side picked up.

Woman with a hoarse voice said – “Hello, who.”

Pyar Chand was speechless for a while but then he managed to say something and said, “Madam Ji, please call Jaisi Ram, I am his Friend from village.” The Woman instantly snapped – “oh, Jaisi Ram is not here, call at Nine in the evening.”
“Madam Ji, give me his address,” said Pyar Chand quickly.

The Woman did not waste much time to give him the address. Well, Pyar Chand could see his dream was coming true. With hopes and aspirations, he left the village.

He boarded the bus two hours before it was supposed to leave the bus stand. As the bus started for Delhi, his heart sank, he was leaving his home-district for the first time in his life. He did not talk to anyone on the bus and did not go outside to drink tea or to eat anything, when bus stopped for breaks. And when everyone slept in the bus, Pyar Chand managed to beat ill-thoughts and apprehensions by painting some exquisite pictures of the city in his mind – consequently, he managed to sleep peacefully.  Finally, he reached Delhi and saw a big crowd and a lot of vehicles – as told by Jaisi Ram. With a mixed feeling of happiness and apprehension, he boarded an auto.

There was so much to see – Pyar Chand dodged curious glances at everything – from ugly DTC buses to yellow autos. Riding high on his train of thoughts, his reverie was disturbed by the stench erupting irrepressibly from the rotting roadside garbage. He put a handkerchief on his nose and continued with sight-seeing.  At times he forgot to blink as he did not want to miss a single scene. He was new to the city, but did well by hiring an auto after a reasonable bargaining on fare.

Finally, he reached the colony, as written on the address. It was a congested housing complex and as the auto penetrated into the narrow street, Pyar Chand saw a few piglets playing in a small ditch. Kucha road made it a bumpy ride and Pyar Chand had to hold tightly to the roof supporting rod of the auto to maintain his balance on the seat. The pungent stench which caught up with Pyar Chand in the halfway after he left the Bus Terminal grew stronger in this colony. 

With address note in one hand and other hand on his nose to counter stench, Pyar Ram reached a shop. He wanted to buy something for his friend – just then he saw jaisi Ram. Well, Pyar Chand looked thrilled and absolutely overjoyed to see Jaisi Ram there. He rushed towards his friend and shook Jaisi Ram’s hands. Both couldn’t say anything for a while. It was a feeling of sheer joy which kept Pyar Chand silent for a while and he expected his friend Jaisi Ram to say something, who could not move his limbs or lips and it appeared as if he had suffered an instant stroke of paralysis.

They exchanged a few words and then Jaisi Ram bought bread and four eggs from that shop and did not say anything on the way as Pyar Chand followed him. Finally, Jaisi Ram said, “how did you reach here? you left your job, your father will kill you now. Who gave you the money to buy bus ticket?”

With a big smile on his face, Pyar Chand said, “No no..I saved some money and like you said then that if you want to do something big in life, you need to leave that village, so I am here now.”

A storm of thoughts and words was heaving inside Jaisi Ram – he wanted to puke it promptly on his patient listener, but he could not say much. Finally, they reached near a house. Pyar Chand felt a bit surprised that Jaisi Ram was not saying anything- something he was not used to. They entered a narrow staircase, which led towards the terrace of the house. Well, the walls of the stairs were stained with red color – displaying different shapes of obscure images created by Paan and Gutkha spit. Stairs finished on the Terrace of the building. There was a small room on the terrace with an adjacent bathroom – Jaisi Ram unlocked the room and invited Pyar Chand inside.

It was the month of April and anyone who has ever spent time in Delhi during this period of the year must be aware about the treacherous summer, which begins to show its ugly face in this month and then turns into a sadistic monster in the forthcoming months of May and June. Jaisi Ram, who used to dominate and initiate the conversations between them, did not speak a single word for the next half an hour.

They entered the room, which looked big as there was not much in there, except a bed, a table fan and a few other things. Pyar Chand just sat in front of the fan and continued with observation – his favorite pastime, which he had not been able to enjoy since morning.

Suddenly, he saw that there was a medium-size suitcase there and he clearly remembered that – that was the one suitcase Jaisi Ram used to bring to the village. Finally, Jaisi Ram said, “if you want to take bath there is a bathroom.”

He gave three slices of bread to Pyar Chand, some tea and half of the egg omelet, he cooked quickly. Pyar Chand had a lot of questions in his mind, but failed to get the start. So, it is Delhi…ok the same Delhi. What…lost in his thoughts, he did not realize that Jaisi Ram was ready to go to work.

He spoke again, “look I will come in the evening.” Pyar Chand nodded in approval. And, then Jaisi Ram left.

Pyar Chand, tried to sleep during the day but could not. He tried to increase the speed of the table fan but could not. As the day progressed, Pyar Chand found that heat had turned into something really worse – well, he couldn’t find the right word for that. The overhead roof was burning and it seemed that fan had literally surrendered to the situation, as it was blowing hot air. He drank enough water from the pitcher that Jaisi Ram had placed in the corner, but just could not get any relief. Next four hours were spent in gulping a few more glasses of water. Pyar Chand felt that he had turned into a machine, which was drinking water and producing sweat as a by-product. Finally, he decided to go downstairs but then changed his mind quickly.

It was an extraordinary day in the life of Pyar Chand who experienced every minute of it – in a way he couldn’t have imagined ever, he had a lot of time to ponder over a few important things. Finally the day  ended. And then Jaisi Ram returned from work.

It was just another day of April in Delhi, but Pyar Chand was looking enervated. He had a whole day to think about Jaisi Ram and Delhi and above all Delhi ke majje (the joys of Delhi). Jaisi Ram did not look at Pyar Chand since returning from work. Before he could say anything, Pyar Chand asked, “Yaara, do I need to go for advance booking to book my tickets for Himachal or can I get them directly, when I would board the bus.”

Jaisi Ram swiftly replied, “No, no, you can get when you would reach there. There would not be much rush these days.”   Well, Pyar Chand saw that old glow and smile on the face of his friend Jaisi Ram for the first time since he came to Delhi.

Both slept on the terrace and shared a single mattress – hardened by the overuse. Jaisi Ram gave mosquito repellant to Pyar Chand, who applied it and slept peacefully. Next day, he gave 100 Rs. to Jaisi Ram and said sorry for all the trouble. And just when Jaisi Ram was leaving for his work, Pyar Chand picked up his newly bought bag and followed him. Pyar Chand did not say anything. Both reached the main road, where Pyar Chand hired an auto. Just then Jaisi Ram said, “Why are you going so early – the bus will leave in the evening?” Pyar Chand did not look back, he did not say anything. He looked at the  Auto-driver and said  - let’s go.  

Facebook: Hi There, I don’t Care

Caution 1: First Paragraph talks about Orkut

Photo Courtesy: http://pt.kioskea.net/

Yesterday was the last day of Orkut and many people paid homage to this first (Popularity wise) Social Media Platform by writing a lot of stuff. It did not affect me much. Yes, when I read that they were going to shut it down, I retrieved some old pictures. Like thousands of others, I had almost forgotten about it before Google announced the time of its death. No mixed feeling or any beautiful memory about it because I must confess that I never got any testimonials in my Orkut account nor enough Scraps. I got introduced to Orkut when a pretty Girl (My Friend’s Friend) talked about Scraps, bragged about Testimonials – a couple of them, she was receiving on a daily basis (then), and obviously I just wanted to check her profile and pictures so got on Board. But that didn’t help my case in any manner.

Quickly I realized that Orkut was swarming up with users like me – attention hunters. To look different, I posted my profile picture (clicked through a web-cam), as me peeping through the fingers of my right hand, posed in front, as If I was trying to hide my face. First full-fledged Social Media Endeavor vehemently proved that I was a shameless hypocrite. Well, now I feel silly about that but those were the early days of Social Media and now after all these years – I can tell with conviction that things haven’t changed much as far as new users’ behavior on Social Media is concerned.

Orkut helped loners, wannabes, confused evangelists and many others (60% uncategorized users) to shore up their egos as people mutually exchanged Testimonials and helped each other to feel good. It started with a boom, reached the pinnacle of glory and before we could come up with the terms of inevitable change, it withered away. Other groups or Social Media Platforms like High5 met with the same fate.

There is Not something for everyone on Social Media Platforms nowadays – but yes options are many. And, if it hadn’t been for Facebook, we would have lost in this sea of tools. Monopoly is not an apt word to justify Facebook’s stature as a Social Media Deity so let’s call it The Emperor. I wouldn’t dare to scrutinize FB’s prominence and its importance in our lives, Yes I have more than 150 Friends on Facebook, but I can only call 1 or 2 of them at any time if I need any help or suggestion or whatever.

(Let’s get a bit philosophical now – you can stop reading if you want) Roughly for me, Facebook is just a simple tool to promote or to showcase what you have – it could be anything from good looks, good writing skills, and other lots of goods. We human beings get the best in terms of pure-pleasure when we indulge in comparison. We all lead our lives in such a way that every now and then we compare ourselves with others to feel better, superior and stronger. Obviously, FB is used for that.

In the early days of my Facebooking, I used to get upset when not many people liked my status. And, me and my so-called FB Friends also fought many “Comment-Wars” over burning issues (some of them were not even aware about or never gave a damn about the topic of discussion, they were there just because they wanted to be there to show that they also cared), when one comment was complimented by another and we got so much involved in that duel to prove that who was wittier. In a flurry of comments the real meaning or the purpose would have lost but we all felt good about ourselves. We discussed, abused, and praised celebrities, trends, and typical issues – man, it never felt enough! And, now I just stay away from all that. You know, it is the same feeling – when you have had too much Free ka Daru, which led to puking and ultimately to conscience pangs, which forced you to swear that you would never drink again – even if it would be free Again.

(And Now I am Social Commentator – you can still stop reading!) For Teenagers it is a medium to get that fellow-feeling that world is full of like-minded people when they are going through Hormone-paradigm shift. For bored housewives, it is a simple way to prove that they also exist. For writers or business people, it is just a medium to promote their stuff.

A few things which make this medium so exciting for me now is to see the pictures of newly married couples who post their lovey-dovey images – well they do make you feel that they are truly blessed. Or those who create propaganda. They start with a statement, which is followed up by a carpet-bombing of comments – one after another. I don’t know how much they pay to those SMO Companies to do that but after seeing 20 comments on such posts – I lose interest.

The true importance of Facebook lies in a simple fact that it has established the authority of a notion that nothing goes unnoticed in this world now-a-days. Obviously, like other important things in our lives, it is like a double-edged sword. Amidst those propagandas, promotions, and self-aggrandizement quests, one factor that supports the relevance of this medium is that Facebook is also a potent tool for those who want to reveal something, which deserves to be heard or debated.

Now that Orkut is dead, I would not bother much if Facebook will be dead tomorrow. That’s my honest personal opinion. I find this overall Social Media experience quite Boring now that I can go to an extent to say that it appears “Fake.” But, yes, I will post this blog link on Facebook that so people can read it (hypocrisy couldn’t have been expressed in a better way). Wink…Wink!

Some thoughts on Finding Fanny

• Not a Review

Photo Courtesy - Midday

Away from the coldhearted hustle-bustle of a city “Finding Fanny” begins with an optimum pace, takes a sojourn in a beautiful and sleepy part of Goa and ends as it begins – on a deft note. The imaginary Pocolim village paints a stoic image of Goa – which defies the pre-conceived notion or pre-shown Bollywood images of this state – known for its bohemian feel, rave parties and cheap liquor.

Goa’s image gets a big makeover lift in this film – devoid of any mushy tinge of ‘Dil Chahta Hai’ or outrageously rave-laden gloom of “Dum Maaro Dum” and some cheap dope-shit of “Go Goa Gone.’ The narrator reiterates at the start of the film that nothing goes unnoticed in Pocolim for the natives, but there is nothing to notice here for outsiders.

What makes this film a sheer treat to watch is not only the picturesque cinematography of Goa or presence of quality actors or witty dialogues, but that uncommon honesty to deliver an authentic film premised upon simplicity. Homi Adjania – the director never ever tried to mess-up with the momentum or rhythm of the film. Only three films old in Bollywood – Adjania has just started, but if I have to draw the comparison or applaud this director then I would say that Finding Fanny has moments, reminiscent of Hrishikesh Mukherjee’s cinema – I know it’s a compliment of a mammoth level and now Adjania will have a lot to justify in a longer run. Five main characters of this film look convincing from the start and stick to their true-self till the end with an uncompromising and unapologetic laid-back attitude.

The story flows with an optimum pace except a few moments which are consciously peppered with quirky dialogues or expressions to extract humor – and the director did succeed in that. Some of my favorite stand-out moments in this film are:

• Ferdy (Naseer), who is a postmaster in Pocolim looks jaded when he cries like a child and Angie (Deepika) stuffed his mouth with a cloth. In another scene, Naseer looked completely lost in his grief, riding a bicycle – with closed eyes and open-mouth, crying and looking painfully unhappy. Ferdy appeared endearing in every scene and his mannerism evokes a lot of humor, whenever he looks puzzled or tries to assert his character or views.

• When Angie convinces timid Ferdy to search for Fanny. Just like a confused child, Ferdy looked convinced and contrived at the same time. Ultimately, fiery Angie coxed and persuaded Ferdy for the search-quest.

• Pankaj Kapoor plays the role of Don Pedro with his typical panache and adds that requisite fervor to a lecherous and somewhat vulgar character, when he first meets Rosy (Dimple Kapadia). He tries to measure-up the “Full-Figure” of Rosy with his X-Ray eyes and on a couple of occasions reached an orgasmic-state, while delving deep into sexual fantasies. Pankaj Kapoor’s perfect expressions make this vulgar character so funny and charming.

• In another scene during the second-half, Pedro discarded Rosy like an object after he managed to draw her painting, and before we could feel pity for Rosy, Director ended Pedro’s journey in the film.

• Angie (Deepika) and Savio’s post-sex discussion offers another laugh-out-loud moment. It was a hilarious scene when Angie overtly puts a doubt in Savio’s mind regarding his just concluded performance in coitus.

• An innocent looking boy shows middle finger to Savio on a couple of occasions – it is a paradox of a scene, where other characters look happy or indifferent, except the preposterous and angry Savio, who ultimately gets a fitting reply from this boy.

I don’t find it practically viable for myself to watch movies in a theater - if their promos don’t convince me a lot. Obviously, Finding Fanny’s nifty trailer had it. And, most importantly, the star-cast made me watch this film. If Pankaj Kapoor and Naseer are in a film – I bet there must be something in terms of so-called nuance. Appeared utterly authentic, simple and convincing from the start to finish – Finding Fanny will linger in my mind for a long time.

Chetan Bhagat: Man who brought “Reading-Revolution” to India

Caution 1: Long Post!

Caution 2: First Paragraph does not talk about Bhagat and his Bhagats.

Chetan Bhagat (Photo Courtesy - iDiva)

In the late 90s, Doordarshan was the only channel for the entire nation. And then DD Metro was launched as a second channel for Metro Cities only. And, the same happened with Cable TV – initially, it set its foot in Metropolitan Cities and it took some years before it could enter 2nd Tier or 3rd Tier Cities and finally villages of India. There was always a gap and will ever be between city dwellers and village folks – and to not had Cable TV further widened it. Cable TV not only amplified the entertainment options but it also brought Westerns Music, Sitcoms and Hollywood into Indian homes. It jolted Indians in an overt manner much like Madhuri Dixit scared Aamir Khan with her 440 Volts in Dil. A volcano of information had erupted and it became a rage to know more and more about West. USA was a dream land of Bold and Beautiful people, WWF Wrestlers and Pamela Anderson. And, it led us to a constant cribbing regarding Bollywood and Desi Serials, which had to evolve into a rage – and ultimately Cable TV viewing Indians vented out their anger in the form of scathing criticism for India. It was a matter of knowing and not-knowing. We have come this far in these twenty years, but for many it is still a kind of Hip-Thing to watch an English Movie and to brag about it in front of friends. To certain extent this same thing goes with the reading preferences of the Indians. And, Bhagat has really done a lot in that context. Not judging his contribution in improving the English of Indians, but he certainly made them read his stuff – written in English.

Now, let’s talk about Bhagat now. I know the beauty of description lies in brevity. But, no harm if you can exaggerate simple things to fill-up pages and be bluntly straightforward – when it comes to some steamy action. Bhagat has a knack for that – he can drag a Class-Room Scene to three pages and serve up a Sex Scene in a few words – “they just had to do it” kind of stuff. Easy availability of Porn on the Internet has done the same thing to current generation – they just want to see quick action or main action.

Once again, I would refer to the first paragraph that I wrote – In the early 90s – watching English Movies and to know more about America than your country became a rage or a true sense of modernity. Consequently, our reading habits also evolved with time. More and more Indians or young people want to read English stuff, but why waste time in understanding the nuance of description and immense power of word-play by reading the Novels of Rushdie, Seth or for that matter Arundhati Roy. Damn, who would like to check the dictionary at least 5 times to understand a single page written by these guys. They are boring and difficult to understand. And, Bhagat comes forth as a right substitute – cool Lingo dude. Just like we used to read those Top Twenty or King Champions notes to pass our supplementary courses in DU Exams.

Earlier, they used to sell a pack of five or ten old magazines at Railway Stations or Bus Terminals – but now they have Bhagat’s gems – five point someone, one night at a call center and many others. In the 90s, to talk about movies and cricket was vogue or in fashion, likewise reading is in vogue these days. And Bhagat is a shot-cut to intellectual enlightenment. You can read easy English and achieve that sense of satisfaction. There is an X-Factor associated with Bhagat. He is an ex-IIT and IIM Student. Well, for some people that is enough.  And, even if he criticizes these two premier institutes of India – he has been there done that. We just can’t do that and shouldn’t.

I did talk to a few who have read Bhagat’s novels. They all asserted that his books are easy to read and quite interesting - with a few quick sex scenes. Bhagat’s popularity has increased multifold since the release of his first book because this guy didn’t change a bit nor his writing style and stories – so he will never riddle you with something new – content with his content which has earned him immense following. Same goes with Bollywood. We do criticize it vehemently for producing clichés and non-sense content, but ultimately that’s what we like. And, in a country more than a billion people, it hardly matters. Because even if you get hold of 5% people – you are not the best seller but a Super-Seller. To read in English is hip and happening then why not Bhagat – the writer for masses. For many Indians, Bollywood is a get away from their treacherous daily life – and likewise Bhagat is there for them, a true-partner in their Intellectual ride – a pure vicarious pleasure.

Students of Delhi University: A Serious Overview

A new session has started in Delhi University and anyone who ever visited a college in Delhi must have a fair idea about all that hustle-bustle and enthusiasm among fresh students. More than anything else, it is a moment of great pride for all those who make it to the University – I don’t know about the exact number but there are around 60-65 colleges in the University and every year more than 2 lakhs students compete for the seats (in Regular courses). So, here is the bitter truth – the outrageously high cut offs for admission are there not because DU offers the best in studies or courses but obviously there are not enough number of seats to accommodate more and more students. Well, who cares? I am here to talk about the type of students (Type means something else, politically incorrect version actually). I roughly divide them in three categories.

1.The Muftkhors (Freeloaders): They are the muftis or freeloaders. They have a little to say in every discussion, but when it comes to party or eating out – they are the Super-Charged Electrons which easily gel up with anything positive or negative because it’s about food. They encourage everyone to go out – have the names of best eateries on their fingertips and ultimately they will convince the group to go out. Once done with the first task, they will guide the group to the best places to eat, but then like any other Bollywood potboiler, there is a melodramatic twist. These Muftis will eat well, laugh out loud but they will never pay. When the group is ready to pay – they will either get busy on their phone or go to Loo. If that is not possible then they will play the ultimate trick – they will admit – they don’t have money. So, someone will pay for them – and loyal to their name – they will never pay back.

2.Tragedy Kings and Queens:  First they will appear reclusive. But, gradually they will open their mouth, they will talk about common problems plaguing our country. They are not depressingly over concerned about the problems but if someone would talk to them much – they will open up. And damn – they have a lot to say. In the end, they will convince their listeners – that they are the most downtrodden people, struggled a lot in life and they are here to make difference. Well, those who would tolerate them then might stick with them for a while – others will just run away. And, if you meet them after 2 years – they will be completely changed people – now, they wouldn’t give a damn about world – and their aspirations are limited to going abroad, earning loads of money and all that – which can be labeled Materialistic – well you can call these guys hypocrites. Yes, they also get active in the so-called Social Movements, but their ultimate goal is “Name and Fame”. Only a lucky few manage to get that – because these clichéd strategies have lost their relevance over a period of time. Now-a-days, they get caught easily.

3.The indefatigable breed: They are everywhere and deserve to be there. Full of energy and lots of ideas, they simply define the spirit of Campus – actually, these guys bring in that raw exuberance, which makes everything possible. From Sport to debates to labs – well they can be found anywhere and whatever they do – it shows their determination and sheer zest for life. They make a lot of things possible in Campus. They are good listeners and when they do something they are serious about it. Sadly, Freeloaders exploit them a lot.

Well, I could come up with only three categories. May be, I wasn’t lucky to find fourth or fifth breed during my days in the college.

Ram Gopal Verma: An unfinished affair

“Mumbai Ka King Kaun” Bhikhu Mahatre – a line that has been etched in my memory forever and somehow introduced me to a different Indian Cinema of that time. Yes, I was shocked a bit, but more than that felt sheer happiness because for me it was a new and bold experience. We had seen many gangster movies before Satya, but the way it brought the nuance of Underworld on the forefront and presented it with stubborn honesty – simply left me awestruck. Now after all these years, I can say that Indian Cinema was taking one step at a time then to embrace the much needed change and what Ram Gopal Verma did then can be termed as a Paradigm Shift.

Before Satya happened, RGV had established himself as a director with a lot in “Different and Bold” to offer with Rangeela. But, my first serious introduction to RGV’s movies was with Satya – a film that allowed Manoj Vajpai to exhibit his immense talent by portraying the role of a Mumbai Underworld Don. It hit me like a whiplash and somehow left me jolted to the core.

In one epic scene, Bhikhu Mahatre died when he went to congratulate Bhau (main villain) for winning the election. It was a single-shot to the head to kill the most powerful character in the movie – and that was typical RGV moment of the movie – devoid of any preconceived notions. It was a totally different experience for me and I immediately became his fan.

Satya was a cult film during those times. Actually, it appeared a lot different because prior to that Box-Office was mostly ruled by directors like Suraj Barjataya or Yash Chopra or others. Either it was love-dovey Cinema, where you had those typical Bollywood love-stories – too much melodrama, Dreamy song sequences and Rona-Dhona or mind-numbing action sequences with larger than life Heroes and their whims. RGV was not there to join the rat race.

After Satya, I established a special bond with RGV’s movies – they were convincing, different and well ahead of their times – yes, if you compare his work with other directors of that time. With every movie, RGV looked strong and firm in his conviction. I did watch Rangeela later and it simply blew me away. It was not Urmila Matondkar’s skimpy dress or her audacious dance moves in Tanha Tanha yahan par jeena, but the way RGV dealt with the spirit of a free girl was simply staggering with different hues of emotions explicating her aspirations, dreams and uncommon love-affair with Aamir Khan’s character Munna.  These days we have some gutsy directors or filmmakers, who can take the Indian Cinema forward by producing a lot of different stuff; worth mentioning Anurag Kashyap and Diwakar Banerjee, but in those days, we had only RGV and he never disappointed us.

RGV  (Photo Courtesy - apnewscorner)

Be it Shool, Company or Road – RGV simply lived up to the expectations, which soared high with every movie he made. It was all good till Ab tak Chappan, another movie on underworld and police nexus. And then something happened.

I went to watch Gayab and then Naach – and felt disappointed. Whether RGV directed those movies or not, but he was involved with them. In those days, I had a friend who was taking classes with Berry John, who once trained Manoj Vajpai, told me that RGV’s production house is named “Factory” and RGV might took it seriously – it was one movie after another from Factory. Loads of quantity - damage to quality. This guy was on a spree to make movies. Well, his next flicks can’t be called anything but average with “D” and “James”, but then RGV once again hit the chord with Sarkar. There were those typical RGV moments in the flick and it was a good effort in many ways – the director was honest in his storytelling and there were some quirky one-liners like Jab koi ek taraf se ladna shuru karta hai to dushan apne aap hi ban jaate hain. Though, it was a rip-off of Hollywood’s epic flick Godfather - Sarkar was a big hit and what could have proved a turning point in RGV’s career ended up filling him with hubris, which eventually got the better of him. 2007 saw the release of Nishabd and Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag – with latter turning out as Bollywood’s worst movie ever. For someone, who delivered so many quality movies for more than a decade, this last effort brought him to his heels. And, then followed a string of Flops and creepy movies with Department, the attacks of 26/11 and Satya 2.

Yes, we have a new brigade of directors, which has kept our hopes alive for a better and nuance-oriented cinema, but amidst all this – it hurts to see such a fall of RGV. A director of uncommon sense of Cinema could have done a lot better. Now, he is coming up with Ab Tak Chappan 2 – hopefully, it would not meet with the same fate of Satya 2.

RGV gave us so much in different Cinema and kept our hopes alive that Bollywood has a big heart to accept and cherish those who believe in themselves, take risks and defy formula-based cinema.

Many call him Maverick and spontaneous director, whose love for Cinema force him to work tirelessly, but for me he is someone, who has a strong conviction, but gradually paralyzed with his own hubris. Now, at the age of 52, I believe that this great Director can take a break from films and analyze a few things about himself – a walk down the memory lane wouldn’t help and a fresh start amidst present state of affairs can do a lot for him. Yes, he can look back to draw inspiration from those great flicks of his, which enriched Bollywood in many ways. May be its too late for RGV, but he would always stand out as someone, who did a lot in reinstating the faith of many in hard-hitting cinema – when Bollywood was struggling with an identity crisis and succumbing to cliché.

Yo Yo Funny Singh – First Part

Picture a typical Punjabi wedding scene. Too much glitter, Gucci, Prada – raging clamor for attention – and a lot of booze.  Take these words of wisdom, if you are going to attend such marriage – now or in near future. A few changes here and there, but ultimately the fervor and finish would be same. Same goes with Punjabi Music – No No – I am not overstepping here or going overboard or trying to offend someone – current music scene would appear like a half-churned ‘Lassi da Glass” without Punjabi Music – So spare me and if you can’t then forget it – it’s just a Blog dude.

In 80s and early 90s, there were only a handful of Punjabi singers, who were making the waves in Northern India like Gurdas Maan and a few more (I tried but couldn’t recall the names of others) and then Daler Mehndi brought his own brand of music – From tunak tunak tun to Haiyo Rabba – India got its own form of Shudh Peppy Music – you can always dance on such numbers. It was an early stage of Digital Music, which consequently led to a spontaneous blending of Punjabi Music+ Digital beats – yes they were and are made for each other. Anyone can shake a leg or break a leg on a popular Punjabi Peppy number – even if he doesn’t understand a single word. That’s it! But yes, it was never enough.

And then something happened -  something serious, something incredible – the bourgeoisie and rich class of Punjab, which represents the progress of Punjab with its super and bigger sense of style and substance (not talking about Substance Abuse here, which has become a cause of major concern in Punjab these days)  entered the Music arena like never before.

Amidst all this – Yo Yo Honey Singh was born. A singer who first broke into the music scene with his Daring **** Volume 2 song and gradually the entire nation accepted him – as someone who can talk his heart out and truly represents the problems faced by India’s lovelorn young boys. Some people call him misogynist but now some of his songs don’t propagate any message of hatred towards women, but simply label them as subjects – with words apparently referring to anatomical details of their bodies and how they behave or should behave these days. So, it is not about hatred anymore.

What really came on the forefront with this Yo Yo Music. While Lyrics can be called truly Punjabi, Music Videos or song sequences are bluntly ripped off from the West –with skimpily clad Girls (Goriyan in Punjabi) just heaving and jumping around the singers like puppets – with their jaded expressions and incoherent dance movements - Yes, Funny Singh counts for so much. Yo Yo and his brigade of Famous or hugely famous singers look like step brothers of Gangsta Rappers – so much is common between them – cribs, girls, cars and petty fights to brag about, but we have to accept the fact that Gangsta has more variety, more violence or if I have to sum-up in one word – they have a more Gross-Quotient in them. Not an assumption but a well scrutinized fact that very soon – Yo Yo Brigade will also delve deep into to augment their Gross-Quotient.

I noticed a pattern in Funny Singh’s songs. Earlier he was a Messiah of those who always wanted it but never had it – a sex starved group of people, who had to rely a lot on their imagination to vent out their frustration, but now they have Honey Singh or for them Horney Singh, who not only talks about this socially oppressed and ignored class, but also suggest ways for them to get what they want – instantly.

These days he is a national craze and a massive asset of this country. So, it is a laborious task to analyze too much in trends in his songs because Honey Singh is not much different from most of other Punjabi singers (or Wannabe Punjabi Singers), but yes he is more popular. Most of the time they talk about – girls, big cars, money, and above all – Jaat Power. But seriously, I tried to pick out a few interesting lines from his songs. Apparently, this guy wants to say too much – wants to do too much – and too much is never enough in Punjab.

Some songs – watch Videos to understand.

Party yun hi chalegi song – there is one quirky line in this song (Gaon main Tau kaware hain – means there are so many bachelors in the village) here he inadvertently talks about the problem of female foeticide in Punjab and Haryana, which has forced the youth to bring (buy) girls from other states of India. Those who can afford Can and those who Can’t – well, they can watch Honey Singh’s videos.

The way he sings this song especially Bomb lagdi mainu – Here he touches the emotions of a boy, who is knee deep in desperation, gradually moving upwards and he is squeaking  like someone who had Kayam Churan in the night but still feeling the agony of severe constipation.  Desperation couldn’t have been expressed in a better way. Feel aa gayi na – by God!

Char botal Vodka kaam mera roz ka – well there is one dreamy line in this song – kisi ki bandi ko bhi har lo (Which vaguely means…Hey, just go to the pub and pick up any girl you like) – this song sends a wrong message to all those who believe that they will find so many girls in Gurgaon pubs – at least one easy-going girl, who would behold you as if you are the famous Chawla version of Punjabi Butter Chicken and after 4 pegs of Vodka, this babe will pounce upon you like a tigress – and devour you. Yes, it happens – never mind to try it out, but first get drunk.
 
It would take at least a month to compile all those interesting lines from Honey Singh’s songs, which send across some strong messages. May be some other time – I do have some lyrics suggestions for this singer. May be in my next posts, I will try to look into the mercurial rise of Honey –Funny-Horny Singh and continue with some analysis of his lyrics. Only if I will have that much patience.